Your daily dose of batshit crazy, Friday edition

So a grand jury has refused to indict a Tennessee pastor for clear violations of laws against keeping poisonous snakes without a license. Presumably this jury of the pastor’s freakish Bible Belt peers decided his religious beliefs were more important than the law.

Let’s hope someone official has a way around this. At least they didn’t give the lunatic his snakes back.

But this quote from a church member caught my eye:

Ooh, yeah, baby, just give me some of that crazy-asses Jesus snake lovin'

Ooh, yeah, baby, just give me some of that crazy-assed Jesus snake lovin’ action.

“To me it violated my right as an American to have my freedom of religion. It shouldn’t matter to people if the Lord moves on me and I feel like I need to take up a six-foot rattlesnake. I should have that God-given right,” he said.

Talk to any old snake you find in the grass in public and you’d be locked up. Deservedly so.

Talk to a snake in church and you’re in touch with The Lord.

Crazy worlds these people and their redneck peers inhabit.

Pastor Andrew Hamblin has also appeared on National Geographic Channel’s reality show “Snake Salvation,” a prospect that must’ve had the learned scientists who began the deeply respected National Geographic Society doing 200 RPMs in their graves.