Archive for April, 2012
From an e-mail I just got “from Michelle Obama”
“If you chip in between now and Monday, you’ll be automatically entered for the chance to join Barack at George Clooney’s house on May 10th.”
No disrespect to the President, but I had a sex dream like this once.
Just when you think you’ve seen everything. And it all reads a bit like a non-denial denial — as if it’s impossible that it’s true, while still admitting that some clerics believe it to be true, so it could happen.
Alleged proposals to allow Egyptian husbands to legally have sex with their dead wives for up to six hours after their death have been branded a ‘complete nonsense’.
The controversial new ‘farewell intercourse’ law was claimed, in Arab media, to be part of a raft of measures being introduced by the Islamist-dominated parliament.
They reported it would also see the minimum age of marriage lowered to 14 and the ridding of women’s rights of getting education and employment.
But sources inside the Egyptian Embassy in London have said the claims were ‘completely false’, ‘forbidden in Islam’ and ‘could never imagine it happening’.
The source said the proposal, if it even existed, had not reached the parliament – although it was also admitted it could be the work of an extremist politician.
Although not officially rebutted, the claims that someone inside Egypt could introduce such a law provoked widespread scepticism.
The initial report, published on reputable English language website alarabiya.net, claimed Egypt’s National Council for Women was reportedly campaigning against the changes.
It said the group said that ‘marginalising and undermining the status of women would negatively affect the country’s human development’.
Dr Mervat al-Talawi, head of the NCW, wrote to the Egyptian People’s Assembly Speaker Dr Saad al-Katatni addressing her concerns.
Egyptian journalist Amro Abdul Samea reported in the al-Ahram newspaper that Talawi complained about the legislations which are being introduced under ‘alleged religious interpretations’.
The subject of a husband having sex with his dead wife arose in May 2011 when Moroccan cleric Zamzami Abdul Bari said marriage remains valid even after death.
He also said that women have the right to have sex with her dead husband.
Better hurry, honey. That rigor mortis window is a small one.
And: “Don’t cut your hair like a lesbian Morticia Addams.”
With amusing picture goodness. Just click on the headline for the rest of the story.
The butt-kissing programming gnome know as Andy Cohen has written his memoir. Strike while the iron is hot, I guess, even if you have nothing interesting to say.
Which brings me to my column this week:
With economies in many Eurozone countries teetering on insolvency, violence in Syria and elsewhere in the Middle East causing fear and uncertainty, and various nuclear powers testing new ways to possibly deliver Armageddon to already bellicose rivals, I thought it proper to address what I consider to be the clearest sign yet of widespread societal collapse: Bravo’s Andy Cohen has published a memoir.
Not since Snooki of Jersey Shore fame authored a college-level physics textbook has the publishing world stooped so low. OK, I lied about the Snooki textbook, but that would make about as much sense as Cohen penning a memoir. What, after all, has this guy done aside from turning an entire cable network into a collection of screeching, narcissistic harpies being fawned over by a furry gay programming gnome with improbably capped teeth?
Snippets of the Cohen book have been slowly released, and to say his is literary thin gruel would be an insult to every self-indulgent autobiographic Hollywood tell-all that came before it.
How did Cohen first get bitten by the bug to incessantly kiss celebrity ass? As part of an assignment in a Boston University news writing class to try and gain an interview with one of a student’s personal idols, Cohen writes that he wanted to choose between journalist/war correspondent (and White House interrogator extraordinaire) Sam Donaldson, and Susan Lucci, who overacted her way into soap opera history by playing the histrionic Erica Kane on All My Children from 1970 until 2011.
Talk about extremes on a continuum. Why not just choose Zsa Zsa Gabor and Stephen Hawking?
Of course, Cohen chose Lucci. He stood outside ABC’s studios on December 11, 1987, waiting for his first famous-person interview with the woman who most exemplifies non-existent talent and a stagnant acting career. Thus an ass kisser and lover of all things self-reverential was born.
Incidentally, Lucci, a registered Republican, also has the distinction of starring in the terrible movie I am most passionate about loving for its sheer awfulness, 1982’s Double Edge, in which she plays two characters — exact look-alikes in the form of a hit woman and the FBI agent who is tracking her down. The look-alikes practically run into one another, after which they momentarily stop and stare — and eventually continue on their way as if running into your identical twin coming off an elevator is no big deal. Talk about lacking self-awareness.
But it exactly this lack of self-awareness on which Cohen’s very being seems to gain intellectual sustenance, if one can use the word “intellectual” in the same sentence with anything attached to Cohen’s name.
You can read the rest here.
Gee, I wonder if it’s Photoshopped. <snort> Not that this fact will stop the wingnuts from insisting it’s a miracle of God, instead of just a miracle of Adobe Corporation.